August 3 Two-Club Invitational Update: I did a site visit & boy, do I have an update
I nearly fainted Sunday morning when I pulled up to Cherrywood Golf Course in Ottawa Lake, MI where the 6th annual Two-Club Invitational will be held on Saturday, August 3.
Talk about culture shock.
After five years of playing the Augusta of the Great Lakes course on Put-in-Bay where the fairways are like 10 feet wide in certain spots because they won't cut the tree limbs, I couldn't believe my eyes when I stepped onto the No. 1 tee box at Cherrywood – there's an actual fairway!
There's manicured grass. There aren't mayflies everywhere. The trees are trimmed. The tee boxes have daisies and ball washers and American flags proudly flying. There are little decorations. There's a sign asking visitors to party like it's 1776. The woman working the front desk is a gem.
And then we started playing. And I saw the greens. These might be the best greens in NW Ohio/SE Michigan. Lightning fast. Undulations. No dead spots (as of July 7). Perfect. No joke, I couldn't believe my eyes.
Is it possible this course is TOO NICE for the Two-Club Invitational? It ran through my head, but the good news is that we know the owner, and he will play a big part in the outing. He's excited for this event.
Here's what I was left thinking after the site visit:
- If things go well this year, we might've found our perfect home. I'm re-energized because the grounds couldn't be better. There are picnic tables for people to sit at. There are tables and chairs to sit around. There's a putting green! There's great shade.
- There will be putters on the greens. I'm not allowing you yahoos to putt with 3-woods. This place is too nice to go full redneck with this Invitational. The grounds crew has worked their ass off on this place and the last thing I want is for one of you to ram a 3-wood into these beautiful greens, which are tiny, by the way. No. 4 might be the smallest Par 3 green you'll ever play.
- We have to move the tee boxes up on select holes to make things interesting. There are holes where you'll have a choice of whether to lay up in front of a creek with your iron or go for it with the 1970s 3-wood and risk flying into water, woods or other deep trouble.
- There are legit Par 4s and a 424-yard Par 5 No. 9 with a triple-tiered green that could decide the tournament with a crazy downhill putt for eagle. Remember, you're hitting a 1970s wood off that tee box. You better hit it on the screws. This won't be the cakewalk you're envisioning in your head.
- The rough is going to be a big factor. It's U.S. Open rough. Lush. Not sh*tty grass allowed to grow long. We're talking fertilized GREEN grass. I wasn't expecting that.
- It's entirely possible 2-under could win this. That's how hard the greens will play and how hard it could be to navigate the course with a 1970s 3-wood & a short iron.
- The course doesn't supply ice. The state of Michigan considers ice food and the course doesn't have a food or beer license. Bring your own ice & coolers, if you'd like. The course does have soft drinks, a walk-in humidor if that's your thing and they sell bags of chips, sunscreen, Ohio State hats, Michigan hats, golf tees, towels.
- The clubhouse has air conditioning, restrooms and places to sit and cool off if you need it after a 2 ½ hour round.
- Cash is king at Cherrywood.
If you're still thinking about playing, let me know because we had like 75 people who claimed they were playing back in the spring and 75 people on a 9-hole course will present some challenges to the tournament organizers.
Price: Whatever the course charges to play 9-holes. I think it was $25. I'm not taking your money. Pay the woman at the desk. I don't want your money. I will not accept a dollar from you. I will not ask you to pay me a dollar. My co-tournament director, Anthony Bellino, and I aren't raising money for charity. This is a golf picnic.
We're not selling mulligans. We're not selling string. We're not doing a 50/50 and then taking the other 50. We're not selling breakfast balls.
I DO NOT WANT THIS TO BE WORK. I'M NOT DOING THIS TO WORK EXTRA HOURS. NEITHER IS BELLINO. THIS IS ABOUT HAVING FUN.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
(The view looking back to the tee box on No. 1. The greens slope from back to front. If you play above the hole or side to side, you're going to pay the price.)
I was lucky enough to witness a guy tackle the Buffalo Wild Wings 10 Carolina Reaper wings in 6 minutes challenge
The kids chose Buffalo Wild Wings after swimming over the weekend and it turned into a great visit thanks to the guy behind us who decided to tackle the Blazing Challenge where he had to clean 10 wings piping hot out of the fryer and covered in Carolina Reaper sauce in six minutes.
This warrior finished the challenge in under five minutes to earn 1k BWW points (the manager said that will get him 10 wings), a t-shirt, his name on a TV screen announcing his achievement and something else I can't remember.
Being a Big J journalist, I stopped by after his big accomplishment to see if he's a competitive eater. It turns out he just likes hot food and was going to order 10 Reapers, so why not do the challenge.
Here's our hero after 2-3 wings. The sauce is kicking in.
The manager was nice enough to bring a sample over to test. I took a tiny hit of that sauce on the end of a fry and my mouth and throat were instantly numb.
I'm out.
Which one of you eats hot food for pure enjoyment? What's the mindset? Is it about challenging your body and your brain? Tell me about this lifestyle.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
Sunday BBQ
- Mike T. in Idaho got after it on what looks like a beautiful close to the 4th of July weekend
Kinsey:
BTW, Mike T. ordered a Purple Pillow after I wrote about my experience with the Purple Pillow the last couple of years. #NOTSPONSORED. I bought that damn thing with my own money.
Innocent Until Proven Guilty
- Steve in Georgia writes:
I can’t put my finger on it, but something tells me this guy is innocent.
https://thegeorgiagazette.com/houston/charles-inocente/
Parking spots you'll never forget
- Jim T. in San Diego shares:
1st day of the 2021 U.S. Open at Torrey Pines I leave home early to get there in time to follow the first group around the course - figure I'll just pick the very first group to tee off, not even having looked up to see who it is.
As I get to the UCSD campus, I'm trying to find the directions to the off-site parking lot I'd purchased a pass for so I can catch a shuttle over to the course. But it's SO fogged in, I can't even see the signs more than 20 feet away, and I don't really know the UCSD campus that well. Just when I think I've found it, a volunteer directing traffic says no, this lot is for volunteers and staff only.
As I'm trying to look at my GPS and also not hit anyone or drive off the road in the fog, I see a guy in a USGA polo shirt waving me into another lot a block away. I pull in, and am directed to an empty space. As I get out, I realize I'm less than 50 feet from the front gate - somehow in the fog and confusion, I'd wandered into the very expensive reserved lot for big money patrons.
Heck with it, I think, set the alarm and walk right into the line to get onto the grounds. After the morning round was over (and I was beat), I took a picture when I got back to the car.
Kinsey:
I'm fascinated by how many of you took photos of your amazing parking spots. That might be the biggest story from this content series.
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That's it for this first day back to work for so many Americans. Lay low. Say very little today. Do your job. Head down. Stay out of the work drama that's going to boil up as people get emotional over a lack of sleep.
Go have a great day.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
