Chapter Text
In the BMore lounge, Danny is sleeping on the couch with a blanket and pillow. BMO is asleep on the end table. Everyone else was seated in the Meeting Room. Jay and Des were sitting next to each other. Baby Finn was in the playpen. Fionna was nursing a cup of joe, trying to stay awake.
BMO's alarm clock goes off, and Danny immediately wakes up beyond tired. He reaches over and pushes BMO's button to turn off the alarm. "Haha!" BMO says. Danny blinks a few times.
"H-huh? I'm up..!" Fionna quickly shot up, accidentally spilling her coffee on the table. thankfully there wasn't that much left in it. "Sorry." She clean is up with her sleeve."
"Danny, if you're going to be living in the office you could at least be on time for work," Hermes scolds from the other room.
"I'm sorry. I was up really late working on the ship," Danny explains. He gets up and climbs off the couch to get some grub.
"Alright, people. I will now outline today's 12-point agenda. We'll begin with point one, then race forward-" Hermes was interrupted by a clattering sound.
Danny gets a bowl of cereal, pouring in the milk, and walks to the table, eating his food. "Concerning our pest problem: Somebody's been leaving food around and it's attracting pests. And I, for one, am getting tired of cleaning those traps," A trap snaps and a painful squeak is heard. "I got this." Cake leaves to take care of it.
"Thank you. Now..." He flicks a button and a graph appears on the big screen. It is a straight line that inclines ever so slightly at the end. "As this graph indicates, our water and milk consumption has tripled in the past weeks. I noticed Danny had been here for weeks, so I asked that he explain himself. Danny?"
Danny doesn't answer. He is taking a shower in the Emergency Chemical Burn Shower. He's humming to himself while he washes himself.
"Am I cracking up, or is Dan living here starting to get in the way of bus-" He is interrupted again by the sound of the ship's engines, which Danny is using to dry his hair. The sound immediately wakes up Fionna, she looks at Danny and shrieks.
Jay hits the emergency shutdown button. "What are you doing? You're going to burn your head off!" Fionna scolds Danny.
"Don't worry, I've set them to no stronger than a hair dryer!" Danny exclaims, pointing to his hair.
"Won't that affect its function in space?" Professor Mo tells him.
"No sweat I'll recalibrate them before our next assignment," Danny shrugs as he goes to change into his everyday clothes.
"I'm sure it's not that bad, Fionna. Live a little," Cake says. Fionna looks doubtful but drops it anyway as their boss calls for them.
Fionna, Cake, Fred, Dr. Z, and Hermes enter Giovanna's laboratory. Giovanna opens the drawers, looking for something. Cake and Danny were somewhere in the building, snooping around together.
"Professor, We need to talk to you about Danny," Hermes starts. "He's a nice guy but we think it's about time he got his own place."
"Oh, fuff! He's not causing any trouble. Besides he's still improving the ship to travel further distances. Now, if you don't mind, I'm rather busy. I seem to have mislaid my alien mummy that was gifted to me by my first clients," She picks up a small coffin and opens it. It is empty. "This sarcophagus should contain the remains of Emperor Nimballa, who ruled Zuban 5 over 29 million years ago."
Danny walks past the lab eating the mummy. "Hey, Professor, Mm! Great jerky!" He says before he walks back to the ship.
"My God, this is an outrage! I was going to eat that mummy!"
"EW!" Everyone but Hermes and Fred exclaims in shocked disgust.
"That's what it was for," explained Fred. "Oh."
"Vasquez has got to go!"
Danny, Des, and Jay are slumped on the couch in the lounge, watching TV that he rigged to get channels from other planets. He changes the channel to Monster Truck Wrestling. "And Bigfoot is down!"
"Sheesh! 40,000 channels and only 150 have anything good on," He complains.
"Ugh, you are so right," He switches the channel over again. There is a sponsorship advert on the screen. "All My Circuits is brought to you by Robo Fresh: Designed by a robot, for a robot."
Fionna and Cake enter the room. "Danny we've got to discuss your living arrangements," Cake starts.
"We've all talked it over and-"
"Hey, All My Circuits!" BMO says, cutting off Fionna.
"It is?” Cake sees the screen, "Move over!"
Jay clears a space on the couch. BMO and Cake sit down and they all put their feet up.
Fionna unplugs the TV to get their attention, "Hey!"
"Sorry, but this can't wait," She turns to Danny, "Danny we know that you need to work on the ship but your living habits are getting in the way of our jobs," Fionna tells him.
"In other words make a better schedule or move out!" Hermes harshly informs.
“But I don't think I can. I'm a visitor to this planet."
"So, there are five other members of our staff but you don't see them sleeping on the company's couch."
"That's because they're living with Fionna and Cake. As for Fred and Dr. Ziodberg... wait a second where do you guys live?"
"Oh, I have them set up at my building complex. It has good maintenance, reasonable rent, and a commute to the office." Replied Giovanna.
"Why didn't you set Danny up there?" Fionna asked.
"No vacancies."
"Besides I filled out all the paperwork needed to have you all registered in the system so there's nothing to worry about. Now get to it you mooching Martian!” Hermes tells him harshly, giving him a complaint form. "And have a nice day," he says friendly as he exits the room.
Danny, Fionna, and Fred are at a mall café where customers sit at tables and select their food from a conveyor belt as it passes them. Danny is slumped in his seat, picking at his food with his fork. Fionna can't help but feel a bit bad for him.
"Cheer up, man. Dan, You've barely touched your sashimi."
"It looked good but I just don't feel like eating. You want it?" Danny questions his co-worker. He shakes his head.
"Nah, I'm trying to watch my input," Fred takes a sip of his drink. "The vitamins keep my fuel cells charged," He administers eye drops.
"What are the drops for?" She asked him.
"They hydrate my eyes and make them sparkle."
Danny sighs. "I can't believe they threw me out like that. I must have been really acting like a jerk."
"You were inconsiderate, but at least they're willing to give you a chance to make a better schedule."
"Yeah, but I don't know if I can manage. With my old team our living and work lives were in sync but now (sighs) It might be better if I did find somewhere else to live."
"Have you heard anything from them since our Moon mission?" Fionna asks. During that trip, Danny asked Fred to help contact his Friends and Family since Fred is from Mars. It was successful but he hasn't heard back from them yet.
"Nada. I'm sure they're fine but maybe they can fill in some blanks on my amnesia when they get back from whatever mission they have. Anyway Fi, are there any rooms available in your building?"
"Yeah, but the rents are outrageous." Fionna warns him, "And I'm best friends with the owner's only kid."
"Hey, why don't you just come move in with me?" Fred offers. "Really? That'd be great! You sure I won't be imposing?"
"Nah, I've always wanted a roommate," Fred tells him.
The trio are at 'BMore Apartments' in a corridor. The building is a dark, run-down place. The corridor is lined with blue doors with not much space between them and the apartment numbers are in binary. "Here we are. Your new home," Fred says.
"Cool! Y'know, I've never even seen an Earth apartment before," Danny says.
"Come on in, I'll give you the tour!" Fred unlocks the door, walks in, and turns on the light. Danny and Fionna follow. They are not impressed. "It's a tight squeeze."
"The Professor originally designed it with Robot tenants in mind, but no biggie," He pushes a button, and a door swings open, "Behold the closet!" He reveals a large living space. Fionna and Danny walk into it."This closet is huge!"
"Let's see, where to start." Walks to the couch and TV set, "OK, this is the TV area, complete with fold-out," He then points to the small open kitchen behind the couch, "That over there's the breakfast nook,"He continues, "The bathroom and this right here is my room."
"Nice loft bed bed."
"Thanks. I got the desk for school and space but I can get a smaller one to make room for a twin."
"Thanks, man but I'll just chill on the fold out till my mission for BMore is done."
"Suit yourself," The redhead yawns, "I'm bushed. G'night," Fred heads inside his room leaving the blonde and brunette alone. "Night."
"Well, I'm glad that all worked out. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go see a crab about his apartment." Fionna says as they wave each other bye.
-A week later-
Danny and Des are in the BMore Express Hangar working on the ship's port wing. Danny is whistling. Fionna is listening to a video on how to work the ship.
"We sure are cheerful this morning," Cake says to Danny as she sips her cup.
"Yeah, this past week with Fred has been a blast! Y'know, beneath his cold educated, silver-spoon persona beats the warm, sunny heart of a badlandian." As Danny walks off, whistling. Fred comes in with an exhausted appearance.
"What happened to you?" Fionna questions him as Des comes over.
"Oh, it's Danny. He snored so much last night that not even my noise-canceling headphones could block it?" Cake fixes his appearance.
"Look at yourself. You're a wreck! You got to find him a new place to live," Cake tells him.
"Is that an invitation?" Fred pleadingly asks.
"Subtle. But seriously, you got to tell Danny he needs to fix his snoring or move."
"Yeah, but he might get upset. I don't think I can do that to him," Fred says.
Danny comes back. "Hey, there's my new landlord." Fred fakes a laugh Danny laughs for real. Fred fakes another laugh and then they both sigh.
"Well, I'm moving out!" Fred tells him. Danny laughs then catches on. "What?
"I'm sorry, Danny, but your snoring affected my sleep schedule," Fred apologizes.
"Then soundproof your room or gag me!" He exclaims. "That last one was an exaggeration."
"What if I just helped the two of you find a better apartment?" Fionna suggests.
"I don't know... I've got a lot of great memories in my old place." Said Fred.
"We can get a two bedroom with soundproof walls."
"And now they're gone! Lucky for us the professor knows tons of places that are aware of visitors."
A little bit later, Fionna, Cake, Fred, and Danny are at an underwater apartment that's leaky and reeks of fish guts.
"Sure, it ain't one of them la-de-da above-ground places. But if you like dank, hey, forget about it!" The underwater house salesman beams. "At least it's got a great view," Fionna says.
A giant squid swims up to the window. Fionna, Cake, Fred, and Danny scream.
"What the?" Danny says.
The squid's tentacles come through the floor and walls. The landlord takes a knife out of his boot, "Excuse me. I gotta go change a lightbulb," the landlordputs it between his teeth and walks out. "Okay, where was this place when we wanted more adventure in our life?" Cake inquired.
The four are now at the 'Unique Architecture apartment'. "Wow! Now this is fantastic!" Cake perks.
"The apartment is built in the style of M. C. Escher's Relativity."
"Hmm. I'm not sure we want to pay for a dimension we're not going to use," Fred says.
Danny suddenly falls down the stairs, up the stairs, across the stairs...
The four are now at a Suspiciously fantastic apartment. "Well, I give up. What's the catch?" Danny says.
"Oh, no catch. Although we are technically in New Jersey," the suspiciously fantastic apartment salesman says.
They are all at the Planet Express Lounge. Cake, Danny, Fred, and Fionna sit around the table.
"Not one place even remotely liveable," Fionna groans. "Looks like we might need to talk to Marshall and his incubator."
"Cake!"
"You know it's true!"
Giovanna walks past them talking on the phone. "Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? To shreds, you say. Very well then," Giovanna hangs up the phone.
"Sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague and tenant, Dr. Mbutu."
"Was his apartment rent-controlled?" Cake asks.
They all arrived at a big apartment with a view and an upper floor. The landlady is an old woman named Hattie who shows the new tenants around.
"Wow. This is beautiful," Fionna states. Cake nods her head in agreement.
"What's with all the paperweights?" Danny questions, crossing his arms.
"They're not all paperweights," Fionna defends.
"Dr. Mbutu collected this stuff while he was exploring," Hattie says.
"Well, this place has everything except a TV," Danny says.
"It's got a TV!" Hattiepulls a rope and a tapestry goes up, revealing a huge Televison.
"Ooh!" Danny and Fionna say at the same time.
"Whoa, slow down! This place just doesn't feel like home. It just isn't... peaceful," Fred says. Danny opens a room and Fred walks inside He closes the door then opens it. "Did you hear us?"
"No. Did you hear me?"
"Nope."
"We'll take it!"
Danny and Fred clear out Dr. Mbutu's stuff from the apartment for his next of kin to collect. Fionna and Cake help out too along with their friends Gary, Marshall Lee, Hunter, and Ellis P. Danny thangs up a poster of a music band. Fred hangs up a poster of a Slurm ad next to it.
Danny and Fred look around, satisfied. It's less decorated but it's a simple fresh start. "Man, it's totally different! For the first time in weeks, I feel like I'm home," Danny says.
"Yeah! It's gonna be fun on the bun! Y'know, you guys are the only friends I've made since I got to this place," Fred says.
-Time Lapse to nighttime-
Later that night the BMore staff arrived at the apartment. The doorbell rings, and Danny answers it.
"Hey, Dan!" Hermes greets. Zoidberg walks in and burbles something.
"Happy housewarming!" Danny stares blankly at Gary's gift. It's a miniature pastry version of their apartment. "Ooh!" He welcomes him and Marshall Lee inside followed by Hunter and Ellis.
"I'm glad you guys were able to resolve your living arrangements," Giovanna tells them. "Yeah, and we got extra rooms I can work on my inventions and stuff for work at home."
"How practical of you Daniel. Fred?"
"Mini gym."
"So Professor has anyone moved into our old place yet?"
"Actually I have potential tenants already lined up. There they are now." She points to Jay And Des as they speak with Fionna and Cake. "NO!" Cake exclaims as she embraces them with baby Finn bawling in the back at the feline outburst.
"You're both moving out?" Fionna repeats sadly.
Jay begins, “We appreciate all you two have done for us and for letting us into your home."
"But we think it's time for us to make it on our own." Des finished. "Plus you guys are barely making even as is. This way you'll have fewer people to pay for." Cake releases them and crosses her arms.
"Cake we'll still see each other at work and you can visit us whenever with a head-up of course."
"Thank you, baby. I'm going to miss y'all," They hug her back and break apart, "At least you still got Baby Finn to keep you company."
"Yeah. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go drown myself in free food and baby love," She leaves to do just that. "Proud of you!"
"Hey, I overheard the good news looks like we're neighbors, my young apprentice." Dr. Z said.
"Yup."
"Too bad you can't move here Fionna the rent is way more manageable than yours," Des tells her.
"It is what it is. Besides I have a lot of good memories from that place."
"Dr. Z didn't have any room?"
"Nope. But it's fine I'm happy with the way things are right now."
Clinking her glass, "Attention everyone as a special treat I'd like to give all tenants a head start on what they'll owe come rent day."
"Oh good I'm on budget." Dr. Z said. Jay and Des were also happy with their due.
"What the heck?" Fred said. "Professor this is more than our last place."
"I thought we had rent control?" Danny asks her.
"You do. But with the move and the extra rooms, it's a bit extra. So manage utilities wisely or get more roommates?"
"Where are we going to find?"
"I volunteer as tribute!" Fionna shouts. Cake's eyes sparkle in joy and Baby Finn giggles.
"Done!" Danny accepted.
"Excellent! Now I need to carry this number plus the baby and Cake." It's still more. But it's fairly reasonable since they'd also have a cat and baby living with them.
-End-
